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yuletide! tides of yule!

[placeholder post]


HELLO YULETIDER! You are writing me a story! That is really cool of you! Anything you write will delight me, but in case you were looking for more guidance...

Generally, I don't care for: death, pining that doesn't get resolved, infidelity, rape, torture and abuse, incest.

Generally, I like: ladies, shenanigans, worldbuilding, snappy dialogue & banter, domesticity, porn, teams, found families, smart and competent characters, characters who BECOME smarter and more competent over the course of the story, absurdly codependent bff pairings, outsider POV, pining that gets resolved, bodyswap, telepathy, fucking around with gender, cross-dressing, fake dating / pretending to be married / woke up married, nonsexual intimacy, cuddling (for warmth or otherwise), characters taking care of each other, ladies topping the shit out of people, negotiation of kinks, characters being awkward about their kinks but then finding a partner who validates and supports them, threesomes and moresomes, open relationships negotiated well, shenanigans, pornography. ALL OF THE TROPES, GIVE THEM TO ME.

Specifically: The ArchAndroid, Brooklyn 9-9, The Unusuals, Miss Fisher"s Murder Mysteries, The Musketeers, PushCollapse )

In conclusion: I like hot ladies in charge of shit! And also dumb shenanigans. soundslikej is a good guide to whether or not I'll like a thing, but on the whole, I'm pretty easy to please.


three things make a post!

Thing One: delightful sunny happy beachy day, yaaaay! I haven't really made it out to a New England beach this year (apart from some quality time at Revere), so it was great to do that and see some excellent humans (even if I totally did burn the shit out of my shoulders, but what the hell, it's not summer without sunburn).

I also made these brownies, which were magical and delicious, so if you're looking for a good fudge brownie recipe, here you go!

Thing Two: In between various wedding planning shit and trying not to panic about the impending school year, I've been reading a lot! So, A, if you're on Goodreads, we should be buds, and, B, here's a books meme! Stolen from sansets, because books! Boooooooks.

Give me a letter and I will hold forth on one of the following topics:

A. Author You’ve Read The Most Books From
B. Best Sequel Ever
C. Currently Reading
D. Drink of Choice While Reading
E. E-Reader or Physical Books
F. Fictional Character You Would Have Dated In High School
G. Glad You Gave This Book A Chance
H. Hidden Gem Book
I. Important Moments of Your Reading Life
J. Just Finished
K. Kinds of Books You Won’t Read
L. Longest Book You’ve Read
M. Major Book Hangover Because Of
N. Number of Bookcases You Own
O. One Book That You Have Read Multiple Times
P. Preferred Place to Read
Q. Quote From A Book That Inspires You/Gives You Feels
R. Reading Regret
S. Series You Started and Need to Finish
T. Three Of Your All-Time Favorite Books
U. Unapologetic Fangirl For
W. Worst Bookish Habit
V. Very Excited For This Release More Than Any Other
X. Marks The Spot (Start On Your Bookshelf And Count to the 27th Book)
Y. Your Latest Book Purchase
Z. ZZZ-Snatcher (last book that kept you up WAY late)

Thing Three: Is anybody else watching the current cycle of Project Runway? Anybody? Bueller?
so for reasons that do not need any goddamn exploring, I just backread, um, the first two years of my LJ? (Which, ahahahahahaha oh god, bb!self, you were SO TRANSPARENT about SO MANY THINGS.) Whatever, it's been grand, I found the first comment soundslikej ever left me, n'awwwww.

And, like, whatever, hop on the 2:02 bus down Nostalgia Lane - but what really struck me was that all of the stuff I was dealing with then? It's the same stuff I'm dealing with now, in slightly different window dressing. I worry about being Enough, about Accomplishing Things; I remain (moderately) convinced that I have no worth except in the things I do, and therefore (sort of) believe that I don't deserve good things unless I am doing something good myself. Which - there's a level on which that is super upsetting and sad, I guess - I will always be like this! I will never get better! - but at the same time, idk, somehow it's a little comforting? Like, yeah, this will always be my tendency, and I'll live with it, and that will be fine. I will always be short and chubby and nearsighted and sarcastic and striving to be kinder and more patient with myself. There are worse things to be!

I was trying to articulate this to J, which led to the following conversation:

M: Like, this was the fight I was having with myself at 19, and this will be the fight I will be having with myself at 90.
J: Yup!
M: I'm just saying, when it comes time for me to retire, you had better fucking brace yourself, because I am going to be an actual human disaster. Like, I'll be asleep for the first week, and then I'll spend the second week reading, and then the third week I will be a fucking nightmare.
J: So, like every August ever, then?
M: ...shut up.
J: And, like - why would I want to make you retire, anyways?
M: ...because old?
J: Right, okay, so you'll stop working, but you'll immediately start volunteering at, like, six different places.
M: ...yes.
J: I have met you, you know.

I am marrying a pretty A+ human being, internet. In case you weren't aware. ♥


So we watched the newest Sherlock tonight, because we enjoy suffering (and also because neither of us have to get up in the morning, snow emergency WOOHOO).

spoilersCollapse )

So, yeah. That happened, and it was entertaining but ultimately SUPER FRUSTRATING, as anticipated. After we were done, J and I turned to each other and said, "yeah, that was...kind of awful. Why can't we watch more Elementary instead?"


books 2013

So for the last two years, I've kept a log of the books I read and what I thought about them - I'm gradually transitioning to using Goodreads, but I kept the log up for posterity's sake / out of sheer cussedness. And since at this point I am unlikely to finish another book in 2013, I might as well post the log!

books 2013 + thoughtsCollapse )

A good year in books, on the whole! Tomorrow you should all bring your hangovers over here so that we can talk (quietly!) about books.

Yuletide! Tide of Yule

Dear LJ, this is the best winter break in the history of ALL WINTER BREAKS EVER. We went to see my family for Thanksgiving, which meant just local relatives to wrangle for Christmas. YAY! Plus we did the Family Christmas Spectacular on Sunday, which let us chill on the couch on Christmas Eve and drink beer and watch The Sound of Music, and then we had a lazy Christmas morning of Yuletide and chocolate before venturing up to soundslikej’s mom’s house for dinner.

AND SO, I will now proceed to do that which I have never had time to do in the past, and present to you all some Yuletide recs!

The Heat, Easy A, Welcome To Night Vale, Parks and Recreation, Elementary, The Middleman, and sex toysCollapse )

What are you reading? What should I be reading? If you want to guess what I wrote, go ahead - it’s not something I’ve written before, but I’ve been vocal about enjoying the canon, so it’s not a complete nonstarter. Merry Yuletide, internets!


chocolate chip peanut butter cookies

aka THE ONLY COOKIE I WILL EVER MAKE AGAIN. Peanut butter cookies...with chocolate chips. How did it take me 26 years to discover this magic?

I know I promised a couple of people this recipe, so: magical cookies of delightful magicCollapse )


Yuletide! Tide of Yule!

Hello, Yuletider! We've matched on a fandom, so clearly you are a person of excellent taste and judgment; furthermore, you're writing a story! For me! And I will love it no matter what, but in case you are looking for guidelines:

Generally, I don't care for: death, pining that doesn't get resolved, rape, torture and abuse, incest.

Generally, I like: shenanigans, worldbuilding, snappy dialogue, domesticity, porn, teams, stories about characters teaching and learning, stories about making the world a better place, found families, smart and competent characters, absurdly codependent bff pairings, outsider POV, pining that gets resolved, roadtrips, bodyswap, telepathy, fucking around with gender, cross-dressing, fake dating / pretending to be married, historical retellings, cuddling (for warmth or otherwise), characters taking care of each other, negotiation of kinks, threesomes and moresomes, open relationships negotiated well, shenanigans. ALL OF THE TROPES, GIVE THEM TO ME.

Specifically: Metropolis Suites, Indexing, The Unusuals, ElementaryCollapse )

As ever, soundslikej is a good resource on things I will and will not enjoy, but honestly I'm pretty easy. Also, if you're not feeling the fandom we matched on, none of these are particularly extensive canons - Elementary is just starting its second season; The Unusuals only ever had one season; Indexing is a shortish novel, published serially on Amazon; and the Metropolis Suites are a pair of amazing albums. Feel free to branch out! ...you could even cross any of these four over, and that would ALSO be amazing.


stuff; things


Honestly, I do feel bad for everybody who's trying to negotiate Boston traffic, torrential rain, and a Red Sox home game, all while driving a U-Haul...but mostly I feel smug as actual fuck. Whatever, I'll get my comeuppance the next time we move, I'm sure.

HEY LIVEJOURNAL WHAT ARE THE HAPS? I am TWO DAYS OUT from beginning my second year as a full-time teacher; I am both more and less terrified than I was this time a year ago. Mostly less terrified, honestly, because, hey: I have done this before! I don't know everything I want to - I probably don't even know everything I need to - but I at least know how to post attendance and who to email about my keys! PLUS I am not developing three entire courses entirely from scratch, this year, so I have way more material to work from.

On the other hand, I'm developing a split-level junior/senior class entirely from scratch and with no textbook, so there's that. On the OTHER other hand, I don't have a study hall anymore, quite possibly because somebody in the administration looked at my schedule and said, "um, or maybe we could NOT make her cry?"

WHAT ELSE. I finally paid off my library fines, so I can get free books again! And of course I am trapped in a terrible Mercedes Lackey series - I thought it was a trilogy but it turns out it is a QUINTET, what the fuck, ML, why would you do that to me? But I also have other books I am reading, and I am trying to get into the swing of using my GoodReads account to track things / find things. You should add me!

UM, STUFF. I stopped watching Teen Woof over the summer, because busy, and now I am too dispirited by everything I've seen about it on tumblr to keep going. I'm enjoying the everloving fuck out of Welcome To Night Vale, which is creepy and delightful. I'm wicked excited for the new Toby Daye book, even though it comes out on the first day of school and I'll probably never have time to read it. I tripped and fell and watched a whole bunch of American Ninja Warrior last week, which is oddly soothing. Oh yeah and I BOUGHT NEW BRAS, omg, my boobs look amazeballs.

okay but so we just finished orange is the new black and I have some feelings:Collapse )

so obviously I feel that you should all come over here and discuss this with me.

mrsronweasley is hosting yet another love meme! My thread is here, and if you wanted to come and tell me nice things I would be very appreciative indeed.



will somebody please come over here and yell about Game of Thrones with me? Because spoilersCollapse )

vocabulary of feeeeelings

so J and I were talking earnestly, as we often do on Friday nights, and we wound up discussing parenting (as we often do on Friday nights), and came to the following realization: both of us come from families with a limited vocabulary of negative emotions.

For example: My parents were GREAT at positive feeling words! They were proud, they were happy, they were excited, they were interested, they were amused, they were pleased...

...but when it came to expressing NEGATIVE feelings, they had two options: frustrated and disappointed. The latter was for something my brother or I had done wrong; the former was pretty much a catch-all for any negative emotion about something else - work kerfuffle, family drama, geopolitical turmoil, you name it. I think my mom had an option out on sad, but that was really only for if somebody you knew personally had died.

J had a similar experience—the same words, even!—which makes me wonder: what were the words your parents used to express emotions? I'm trying to figure if this is a thing that all parents do, or if this is just my family being wicked weird.

so far today I have:

• dropped a full glass of water - not because I was walking or holding it weird, just sitting on the couch, holding a glass of water, oops now I'm not;

• spilled used coffee grounds all over the kitchen floor;

• while setting up the coffee maker, put in water, a filter, fresh grounds...but not the basket that holds everything in place;

• spilled my oatmeal onto the coffee table; and,

• while cleaning up my oatmeal, knocked a pile of knitting needles onto the floor.

I need an adult. /o\ Failing that, I think I will just sit on the couch and reread the Alanna books until I feel more prepared to be a human being.

vacation; skincare

Vacation, Day One:

• slept until 9:00 (aka FOUR HOURS LATER THAN USUAL)
• did my federal and MA taxes (MN taxes are complicated and barely worth anything, so I am dithering)
• went grocery shopping
• roasted a chicken for chicken pot pies
• made pizza dough for pizzas tomorrow

And then J came home and we put together the chicken pot pies, with much "assistance" from the cats. And then my brain was basically fizzing - turns out that I have a lot more physical+mental energy when I'm not at school all day - so after I spent some quality time twitching and muttering with my face pressed against her stomach, we sat down and emailed our potential wedding venues.

Other sexy exciting plans for my week of nothingness: completely re-plan my level 4 class; get my car inspected, take a load of crap to goodwill and donate it, clean ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING EVER, do a recycling run, yoga, make hummus, sew some things. This, for the record, is why I have to have a job during the summer. @____@

In addition to being spectacularly twitchy, I have a Serious Life Question: HOW DO YOU SKIN?

backstory: I actually had reasonably decent skin when I was a teenager - I spent nine months of the year chapped beyond the telling of it, but I didn't really break out that much. This...is no longer the case. /o\ And since I would ideally prefer to look MORE like an adult than my students, I am in the market for a skincare plan that isn't "scrub it with face-scrub stuff when you remember to do so; put lotion on it when it's scaly and gross." What do you do to take care of your skin? Does it work? Do I really need to care that much about what lotion I'm using? Obviously people have different skin types, but my degree of mind/body disconnect is such that I straight up could not tell you what kind of skin I have, other than, "probably human"; has anybody else had this problem?

"excuse me, is this zero dark thirty?"

Earlier this week, [personal profile] jai informed me that we were going to see that modern classic, Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters.

Internet, I tell you freely: I was dubious as fuck. Renner's face swayed me a little, and the prospect of fangirls swayed me a little more, and the promise of seeing it at the movie theater that will sell you beer persuaded me, but still: dubious as fuck.

...which turned out to be unwarranted, because OH MY GOD SO MUCH FUN. :DDDDDD

Not, let me clarify, because the movie is good. The movie is...not good. Very much with the not good. The opening scene involves a witch's house (in pseudo-1300s Germany) with orange candy peanuts on the door, okay - historical accuracy is just ONE of the many things that went completely out the window in this movie. Other things: coherent plot, couth, subtlety, class, any pretensions at a lack of an incest subplot.

And yet: SUPER ENJOYABLE. Largely, to be fair, because a few minutes after we settled in at the theater, some people sat behind us. I listened to their conversation, as creepy people do, and after a few minutes I leaned over to J and whispered,

"I think they're from the Internet."

Which indeed they were! And together we made a very merry ten-person heckling section while Jeremy Renner ran around with his anachronistic weaponry, pretending (badly) not to want to fuck his sister. There were witches! (Renner had sex with them) And fanboys! (Renner didn't have sex with them, unless that happened while I was getting more beer) And a troll! (...god, I hope nobody had sex with the troll.) Basically, it was utter schlock, gratuitous on every level, and I enjoyed it 1000000%. D- movie, A+ experience.

And then we left the theater, exchanged internet contact details, got shushed at in the hallway twice, took over a patch of sidewalk for a while, went in search of cupcakes, achieved cupcakes, went in search of MOAR BOOZE, were unsuccessful, gave up for reasons of OMG COLD, and parted ways.

MY POINT IS: I love the internet. Thank you, tubes, for bringing me fandom, and by extension not only Jeremy Renner and his ridiculous dead face, but fangirls of all different stripes to join me in making a spectacle of ourselves in public. ♥!

book log 2012

So I did this in 2011, and it was actually really fun - I liked keeping track of things as I read, and I also really enjoyed looking back periodically to remember what I'd read so far that year. Here, then, is Year Two of the book log!

books 2012 + thoughtsCollapse )



So last year I made a post about what I wanted to get done in 2012, and today I am in a pensive sort of mood, so here is how I did on those goals:

2012 in reviewCollapse )

So, yeah. That happened. Thanks for being around, internet!
I am about to go into the West - specifically, to my aunt's cabin in Oregon for Family Etben Fun Togetherness Time! My aunt has assured us that there is internet up there, but between family pressures and the fact that we will be in an actualfax cabin in the woods, this may or may not prove to be the case. I will try to read my story as soon as the archive goes live! But if I don't, or if I can't comment, it is in no wise because I don't appreciate it - just, you know. Family.

Love to everybody, and I hope your holiday season is warm and fuzzy and filled with people who treat you well.


A Query:

So for reasons that don't need explaining that this juncture (mostly TEACHER DISCOUNTS FUCK YEAH), I'm considering moving my phone service to T-Mobile and replacing my phone at the same time. Do any of you fine humans (esp. those of you in the Northeast) use T-Mobile? On the phone-companies scale, how much does it suck? Are there phones you would or would not recommend in particular? TELL ME THINGS.

In other news, J is covered in kittens and we are both off work for a week and a half. Victory is ours, great day in the morning, &c.

food: for eating!

hello internet! I thought for sure I'd posted this at some point, but I can't find it, so I figured I would share with you all!

ma po tofu, the lazy asshole versionCollapse )

In other news, today I read a book with pages and it was great. I did not do anything else of substance, and that was also great.


ahahahaha I have not posted in one million and twelve years (or, okay, a month, whatever) and I have approximately one MILLION things to say, most of which are AUGH OH MY GOD SCHOOL IS EATING MY FAAAAACE. There are a lot of stories to tell! but many of them would violate FERPA like nobody's business, so instead I will just say that my job is the best and you're all jealous of how I get to spend my day with douchetacular high school students, neener neener neener.

BUT MY POINT IS, I'm writing a thing? And it's almost done (and due on Sunday, ahahaha WHAT), so is there anybody out there who would be willing to run a quick beta on a Teen Wolf story at some point in the next few? I would love you forever and/or provide you with the baked good of your choice. Hit me up here or via email if you are available/interested!

PS I love everybody on the internet - even when I am a lazy asshole lurker who doesn't say anything, know that I am thinking fond thoughts about all of you, because you make my life better, weirder, more informed, and more ridiculous every single day. ♥!

dear yultider letter goes HERE !

Oh, yuletider! first off, you are always and forever my favorite for offering to write in any one of these fandoms, and I will be 100% delighted by whatever you write, because it will be a story! for me! I may or may not be able to comment when Yuletide actually goes live, for reasons of family, but rest assured that I will be INCREDIBLY pleased regardless.

So, no pressure! but if you're looking for some guidelines...

Generally, I don't care for: death, pining that doesn't get resolved, rape, torture and abuse, incest.

Generally, I like: shenanigans, snappy dialogue, domesticity, porn, teams, stories about characters teaching and learning, stories about making the world a better place, stories about found families, stories about local government, stories with kittens in them, stories with babies in them, smart and competent characters, characters who have to make difficult decisions, absurdly codependent bff pairings, outsider POV, obliviousness, awkwardness, pining that gets resolved, roadtrips, bodyswap, telepathy, fucking around with gender, cross-dressing, fake dating / pretending to be married, epistolary fic, libraries, historical retellings, cuddling (for warmth or otherwise), characters taking care of each other, any character that could ever be described as 'longsuffering', negotiation of kinks, threesomes and moresomes, open relationships negotiated well, stories with sex toys in them, shenanigans. ALL OF THE TROPES, GIVE THEM TO ME.

Specifically: The Unusuals, The Darkangel Trilogy, Pitch Perfect, TomboyCollapse )

As ever, if you have any questions, soundslikej is a good reference point for things I will and will not like. And if you're not feeling inspired on the fandom that we've been matched in, let me remind you that Tomboy and Pitch Perfect are both relatively short movies - Tomboy is on Netflix, last I checked - The Unusuals is a really short TV series, and the Darkangel Trilogy is a 3-book YA series! And all of them are awesome pieces of media in their own right. You have options, is what I'm saying. And also, THANK YOU. ♥!


adulthood: how does it?

So, okay: I have never in my life had a credit card. This is something that baffles a lot of people, but it's true! My name is technically on my parents' card - it was supposed to be one of those "use it WISELY, pay it off, build credit" things parents do, but I have literally never once used it. Because...idek, paranoia? Being stuck in my ways? Failure to Adult? I have a debit card, I have a checkbook, I am FINE.

Except, okay, I'm 25, having a credit card is not actually an unimaginable thing to do, and possibly actually a good idea. Except...where do I even start? I have five accounts with four different banks (...don't even ask, my family does savings in a way that is the most special), do I talk to one of those? Except the bank that is local doesn't offer credit cards, so that's out. I get mailers from Southwest and stuff, but I feel like that is...somehow not a good plan? AUGH THIS IS SCARY AND BEWILDERING, GIVE ME ADVICE, I seriously have no idea what the fuck I am doing with this nonsense.

the once and future NAKED BATMAN

Okay, so, hi, I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about The Dark Knight Rises. Trust me: there is absolutely nobody on this planet who is more surprised about that than I am.

TDKR thoughts + spoilersCollapse )

…On the other hand, I spent a lot of quality time leaning over to soundslikej and whispering WELL NOT MY MOM OKAY SHE DIDN'T IT WAS INJUSTICE / SHUT UP BATMAN YOU'RE RUINING THE SONG and laughing until I cried. So that was awesome.

Also, I watched this video of NASA mission control during the Curiosity landing and legitimately teared up. SCIENCE.
I wrote a thing!

break common laws in twos and threes (2650 words) by faviconetben
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Rating: Mature
Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Characters: Pepper Potts, Tony Stark

OR, How Tony And Pepper Make It Work.

They get five glorious minutes all to themselves, wrapped around each other on the rooftop, before reality comes back. Tony and Pepper, in the interval between IM2 and the Avengers, making it work together.

So because I am a MASSIVE DORKFACE, soundslikej and I went to see the This American Life live show. Yes, that's super dorky, but it was also AMAZING - heartwarming and funny and sharp and all of the things that TAL always is, but with the added benefits of:

a) excellent animation sequences,
b) live music by OK GO (and audience participation! I love audience participation!),
c) a short film with Terry Gross, which - okay, if you know who Terry Gross is, this will crack you up - it's funny regardless, I think, but it is particularly hysterical if you grew up listening to public radio.

AND ALSO THERE WAS D) IRA GLASS, oh my god, sir, please never leave my life. *________*

Some of the sequences were less my bag - David Sedaris' bit had some gratuitous fat jokes; some of the other bits were overly long or mottsy - but overall it was an extremely enjoyable night, well worth leaving the house on a rainy Tuesday.


Before the show, soundslikej and I hit the bathroom, as one does. Since The Avengers is still playing on several screens, we briefly discussed sneaking into a later showing, but concluded that the spirit was willing but the flesh was likely to be sleepy. This conversation turned into an appreciation of Natasha Romanova, as all such conversations must do, and somehow Amy Pond entered the discussion.

While we were washing our hands and silently pondering the hotness of that, a woman emerged from a stall toward the end.

"So what do you think - have you had enough of Amy Pond?"

We admitted that we would probably never have enough of Amy Pond, but allowed as how the last season had gotten a little much, in places; all present agreed that we were psyched for the new season of Who - depending of course on the new companion and the quality of the writing, etc.

This woman proceeded to follow us into the theater and sit in the row behind us. J and I whispered "one of usssssss" and tried not to giggle too terribly hard.

Which is all by way of saying: If you were sitting behind us in Theater 5 at the Showcase Cinema De Lux in Revere, hi! We should probably be friends.

avengersverse thoughts and feelings

We are rewatching Thor tonight, as every wonderful household does on a Friday night, and I have THOUGHTS. And FEELINGS.

...spoilers for Thor? Can people still be spoiled for Thor?Collapse )

5. God damn, Hemsworth really is a blond Heath Ledger, isn't he? HEEEEEEF ;____;

In other news, I'm done with classes! and am guaranteed to graduate! Which means that, with the exception of some interviews and some family shenanigans, the only things I need to do between now and the end of the month are:

• pack for the summer
• put the gd a/c in the window
• write the story about how Tony and Pepper Make It Work (which is also the story about how Stark Tower comes to be, maybe? And might also involve a threesome with Bruce Banner, fuck you, don't judge me.)
• write the ridiculous gen epic about Steve Rogers Discovering The 21st Century, ugh, angelsaves and soundslikej are the WORST enablers.
• write about Thor and Jane sleeping with everybody
• write about how everybody sleeps with everybody in the Avengers Mansion, for reasons of plot.

My life choices: actually fairly valid, for a change! If you have thoughts on Thor, or on the Avengers more generally, or if you have things you think I should write, you should come have opinions at me in the comments!

distracting? no, inspiring!

Here's a twist on that one meme: I've got a list of 15 characters from the Avengers and various associated films. Give me two (or three, or four, or whatever) characters and a thing they do together, and I will do my best to write you a snippet of how that happens! So, for example, "2 and 5! Cuddling!" or "3, 7, and 12 on a road trip" or "4 and 9, oral sex".

These probably won't happen right away, for reasons of or relating to the PLOT, but I will do what I can!
If any of you are ever in need of something adorable and hilarious, I highly recommend this playlist of various guest stars hanging out with Elmo. Zoe Saldana's 'transportation' clip is my personal favorite, but Amy Poehler is also great, as are the many many other fabulous people.

In other news: finished my student teaching, watched the Avengers twice in less than 24 hours, and spent the entire day hungover on the couch, reading fic and refreshing tumblr. My weekend: pretty excellent, thanks much!

media roundup post!

So I was thinking about doing that "my week in pictures" meme, but 90% of my day would be a FERPA violation, so, nope! Instead, here's a post about things I have recently watched and enjoyed. Feel free to share your feels and/or suggestions in the comments - I think the next thing in our netflix queue is The Fantastic Four, for reasons of Chris Evans and his stupid rubber face, but we are both very suggestible humans.

My Week With Marilyn, The Hunger Games, The Artist, Entre Les Murs, Friends With Benefits, Project Runway All Stars, Parks and Recreation, KorraCollapse )

In other news, I'm wicked excited for the Avengers, I can't even lie. The fact that it comes out the same day as my last day of student teaching is just the cherry on top of the sundae of fabulousness that is that movie. MOVIES ABOUT SUPERHEROS AND BLOWING SHIT UP, PARTY OF ME. *\o/*

i am advisable?

Internet, for reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture (aka I took a practice licensure test, because I like suffering), I am the proud possessor of a $100 gift card to Penguin Books. Rejoicing! Celebration! But I have to use it all at once, which is...I mean, not that I couldn't spend $100 on books at one go? But being restricted by publisher is kind of a tricky thing.

SO: What books should I own? Don't worry about checking if Penguin has them (although if you know that they do, that's cool!) - if nothing else, it will serve me well to have a list of recommended books to come back to at a later date.


OKAY, so, for reasons that do not need exploring at this juncture, I have been pretty much DEAD for writing purposes for the past...while. Like, excepting Yuletide, I've written exactly one story since early 2009, when I posted my last bandom longfic. Which, ugh, cue guilt guilt shame shame NOT CONTRIBUTING TO THE FANNISH ECONOMY WHY DO YOU SUCK SO MUCH, SELF? -type spiral of unproductive feelings, eurrgh, please exit to your left, o ye haters.

BUT. I am graaaadually getting back into the fannish swing of things, by which I mean that I am feeling like I might like to write something again EVER, which is pretty thrilling. And yet: blocked on absolutely everything I have ever started ever.

SO. We're going to play a game that goes like this: you comment to me and say something like hey, M, tell me about the time that Tony Stark accidentally dyed his hair blue, or hey, what about the time Jake Jensen wore women's clothing on a bet, or but what about that time that Amy Pond met John Watson and they totally made out?

And then I try to write it! for values of "write" that contain an awful lot of handwaving and FOR REASONS OF PLOT. This is STORYTIME, not fic-writing time; High Literature Hour has been cancelled due to inclement weather and a shitty acronym.

FANDOMS: Avengers/Captain America/Iron Man, the Losers (but preferably movieverse, because I like it when everybody lives), Doctor Who, Pride and Prejudice, Friday Night Lights through s1?. Anything else I've written or capslocked about is potentially up for grabs, but those are probably your best bets.


I have things to say, but this week has been an enormous pile of hot fresh RIDICULOUS, and so I don't really have the words to say them. Suffice to say that I have impersonated an actual grown-up on multiple occasions this week, mostly successfully, and also I have not stabbed anybody in the face, so I am going to sit right here and eat the chocolate peppermint cookies of righteousness (and possibly also the cauliflower chili of triumph?) before I have to go to class tonight.

Also here is my love meme thread! I will probably not actually leave comments tonight, because of the aforementioned class, but tomorrow is Friday and all things are possible. If I miss anybody's comment, though, I ♥ you all!

ETA: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. I got an email from instructor, saying that if we feel that it would be unsafe for us to come in to class tonight, we should feel free to skip class without being penalized (which is a big deal, because this class only meets for about 6 sessions overall).

I got this email at 6:15pm, which is...15 minutes after I'd already left the house. THANKS A FUCKING LOT. *grumps*


I was going to make a post about my ~feelings~ after this weekend, but FEELINGS, and also ahahahahaha fuck no.

Then I was going to make a post about the things I brought home from my grandparents' house, but I can't find my camera charger, so that didn't happen.

Then I thought I might make J watch Lil Abner, one of my favorite childhood movies, and liveblog her horrified faces, but the movie is down in the car, and it's raining, so, no.

And then I said, oh, hey, I could post about going and getting the car appropriately insured and titled and registered today! ...which post would interest approximately NOBODY.

So instead I am just going to say project runway spoilersCollapse ).

I, yeah. That's what I've got today.


adventures in cinema

So last night I made soundslikej watch O Brother, Where Art Thou? with me, for reasons of Clooney, and it was an A+ life experience! And then afterwards we were discussing Clooney and how great his face is, and this happened:

M: I don't think I've seen another movie where he was this silly, you know? Like, I guess Ocean's, but those are really more caper movies than actualfax comedies.
J: Yeah - he's like that in interviews, but I guess not so much in movies.
M: And he's got such an expressive face, while simultaneously being really classically attractive - you know who he reminds me of?
J: Who?
M: Chris Evans! Oh, and also the guy who played Steve Rogers.
J: ...
M: What?
J: ...oh honey.
M: .../o\

Relatedly, last week my parents went to the movies! During one of the previews, my dad leans over to my mother and says, "hey, this looks good, we should see it sometime!" Only for my mother to inform him that the movie in question was in fact the last movie they'd seen together, two or three weeks previously. I'm just saying, it's not like this shit is in any way surprising.

In conclusion, George Clooney is incredibly attractive and makes some really great faces, Oh Brother is still the only Coen Bros movie that I've really loved, and also my facial recognition circuit is a piece of shit. Happy Saturday!

это то, что она сказала


I had an absolutely EXCELLENT day today, with lots of wine and noms and fangirls and due south! There was a lot of hilarity surrounding the notion of a sex-voice GPS function (to be voiced by one ms. shiningartifact, CLEARLY), and also a great deal of general delightfulness - and on the car ride home I inflicted the following on C, who said that clearly this was something that needed shared with the rest of the world.

I'm just saying, blame C, not me.
so I have actual posts to make (family stuff! flaily life stuff! oh my god I start student teaching in LESS THAN A WEEK oh fuck oh fuck panic stuff!), but I just need to get this off of my chest:

If visibility is less than absolutely perfect, put your fucking headlights on when you are driving. That includes twilight! That includes heavy rain or snow! And that absolutely includes heavy rain/snow/ick in the early morning or late evening! Your headlights may not do a fuck of a lot of good for your ability to see the road, but they make an enormous difference in how well the rest of us can see you.

This announcement has been brought to you by the department of JESUS FUCK, PUT YOUR FUCKING HEADLIGHTS ON, PEOPLE.

...and now I will go back to Operation: Bake ALL the cookies!

...bake ALL the cookies?



So J and I finally watched Bridesmaids! And as EVERYBODY EVER predicted, we totally loved it, so thanks for calling that one, everybody. Someday I will manage to pick up on the media you are recommending me in a timely manner!

FEELINGSCollapse )

CONCLUSION: A+++++ movie, would watch again, I am still the awkwardest human alive.


books! with pages!

So at the beginning of 2011, I started a log of every book I finished, and somehow I've remained more or less on top of that? And I took notes along the way, and it's the end of the year, so, idk, here, have a list.

Books What I Read In 2011, complete with handwavey feelings.Collapse )

If I just finish the 3rd Jemisin book, I will be ahead of J! …but yuletide. /o\ Still, I feel pretty damn good about the number of books-with-pages I have managed to read this year (although I did technically read most of the Butcher and a good bit of the Bujold on the computer...still, those books are all published! I could have read them in dead-tree form!).

(Looking back, it's incredibly obvious when my life got stupid busy on me: April (exams), June (camp), and September/October/November (school again) are all fairly bare.)

Goal for next year: keep on keeping on! Maybe read more nonfiction - I really enjoyed a lot of the stuff that I read on my own for school, and I loved Packing for Mars. More of that! Maybe some biographies! Also generally I want to use BPL more, because it is THERE. ...also I should maybe finish the MOUNTAIN OF BOOKS I have checked out from the school library, idk /o\.

IN CONCLUSION, books are great! You should feel free to come and talk with me about these books or other books that you think I should read.

media flail!

Hi internet! I...kind of fell off the edge of lj for a while, there - school stuff, mostly, and also a generalized desire to flop on the couch and do nothing. Winter, why must you be the worst? But I have been reading books - some of them with actual pages and things! - and watching movies and TV! And now I will make a post about things that I have enjoyed recently.

1) Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows. DELIGHTFULNESS INCARNATE. I saw this with a huge crowd of fangirls last night, and we were loud and ridiculous and had all of the fun in the world. Every time I thought the movie had reached a new height of ridiculousness, it proved me wrong and became even more absurd. And gay! But mostly I want a million words about Mary Morstan Watson, kicking ass and taking names and smiling serenely.

2) Friends With Kids. Not even gonna lie, I decided we should watch this movie based entirely on a gif of Adam Scott with a small child, and it was an A++++ life decision. I expected it to be a lot more mottsy and terrible than it was, but it was genuinely incredibly charming and adorable. Adam Scott! And a kid! And Jennifer Westfeldt, who I don't think I'd ever seen in anything before, but who I liked tremendously! A+ film, would creep on Adam Scott being a dad again! (Not Adam Smith, as I initially typed. BRAIN WHAT ARE YOU.)

3) Friday Night Lights. SHOWWWWWWWWW. We are halfway through the first season, and pretty much every second of every episode is me flapping my hands and yelling out characters' names. The writing and the acting of this show are just - and the relationships - jfc, so good I can't even handle it. It is a show about football - and I grew up at a Big Ten school, so I can say with some certainty that I am not a football fan, if ever I was gonna be it would have happened a long time hence - and I love this show so much I can't even handle it sometimes. Also I want to form a Tyra Collete Appreciation Society, meetings twice weekly. IN MY PANTS.

4) The Vorkosigan Saga. IDK why I have resisted this series so long, but oh my god, it is DELIGHTFUL and also ridiculous. The amount of cackling in handflappy glee I have done in the past week is absolutely rigoshdarndiculous.

yuletide! tide of yule!

Hello, wonderful yuletider! First of all, let me say that I am DELIGHTED to have you writing for me, and that I will adore absolutely anything that you write, because STORY! For ME!

...but since that's not a lot to go on, here's some more information.


I don't care for: death, pining that doesn't get resolved, rape, torture and abuse, incest.

I like: shenanigans, snappy dialogue, domesticity, porn, teams, stories about characters teaching and learning, stories about making the world a better place, stories about local government, stories with kittens in them, stories with babies in them, smart and competent characters, characters who have to make difficult decisions, absurdly codependent bff pairings, outsider POV, obliviousness, awkwardness, pining that gets resolved, roadtrips, bodyswap, fucking around with gender, cross-dressing, epistolary fic, libraries, historical retellings, cuddling (for warmth or otherwise), characters taking care of each other, negotiation of kinks, threesomes and moresomes, stories with sex toys in them, shenanigans.

Obviously, some of those things will work better in certain fandoms than in others! But if you want to write me a Yeine/Itempas/Nahadoth story about local government, you should feel free to do so! ...because that would be amazing. *_____*

Specifically: Good Wife, Parks and Recreation, Tamir Trilogy, Inheritance TrilogyCollapse )

In conclusion, hi! I'm etben, and I like ridiculous codependent pairings! And also Kalinda Sharma.


the good wife is still my favorite

spoilers for the good wifeCollapse )

Who else watches the Good Wife? Come have feelings about it with meeeeeeeeeee. &show;

with my gouda swiss and havarti

So I just realized that there are maybe some of you who haven't seen this? AND THAT IS JUST UNACCEPTABLE.

You're welcome, internet.


i just i don't.

So my dad just emailed me the following:

and I'm like:






you know what's not a word anymore? MOBILE

Okay, internet: question time! How do you pronounce the word "mobile"?

(if it makes a difference, we're talking about the hanging sculpture-y things that you put over babies' beds to make them smarter or whatever.)

soundslikej and I have been going over this one for...a while...and we cannot decide, and now it's not even a WORD anymore, so we are turning to the internet to tell us how to talk good the english. HALP.

CLARIFICATION: J says "mo-beel"; I thought I said "mo-bile" but on further reflection "mo-bill" actually sounds a little better? But I would also understand "mo-beel" if somebody said it? AUGH WHY IS ENGLISH NONE OF THESE ARE EVEN WORDS ANYMORE A:LDJS:LDKAJDLSDJ:LAKDSJAS:LD.

relevant to everybody's interests:

It's a movie about the invention of the vibrator. It has Maggie Gyllenhaal. YOUR ARGUMENTS ARE INVALID.

book meme!

So the New York Times put up a list of the top 100 SFF books (as selected by readers), and I stole this meme from sansets: strong the ones you've read, emphasis the ones you intend to read, underline series/books you've read part of, and strike the ones you never intend to read. (I have, unsurprisingly, a very hard time saying that I will NEVER read something. Realistically, though, a lot of the sword-and-sorcery stuff is probably not going to happen - I love the genre, but they all blend together after a while.)

books!Collapse )

So, yeah. Mostly for my own reference - there are several on the list that, based on the description on the Times website, sound right up my alley. Because, you know, I didn't have enough to read already. ahahahahahahaha what.
I BLAME soundslikej. ENTIRELY. Also my brain, which is clearly wrong inside.

to pass for a lady,—only think what fun!
pride and prejudice and cross-dressing

Mr. & Mrs. Darcy, PG-13?, cross-dressing. 1200 words. Title/cut text from Lydia Bennett.

and then, what do you think we did? We dressed up Chamberlayne in women"s clothes, on purpose to pass for a lady,—only think what fun!Collapse )


rl: yes but wait what
creepy, but ultimately harmless

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